Monday, May 5, 2008

Reincarnation

Here are some helpful tips for any woman starring in a Japanese horror film:
If the camera zooms in on your face, there's a ghost behind you.
If your face is in the frame, but the camera is focusing on something over your shoulder, there's a ghost behind you.
If there's a little kid running around who you see but nobody else does, odds are it's a ghost.
If the kid says things like, "We'll stay together forever," definitely a ghost.
That girl who tells you she thinks she was killed in a past life? Good chance she's going to be killed in this one as well, and soon.
If you want the movie to work, you -- the star -- have to carry the whole thing because the people they get to play Ghost 1 and Ghost 12 and so on in a low-budget movie are probably going to be terrible actors. At best, they may have taken one improv class at the local community center, and they'll come across like the dancing landlord in "The Big Lebowski."
If you want the movie to make sense, too bad -- it's Japanese.

1 comment:

lshmizzle said...

omg. you just gave me all the tips i need to survive watching a japanese horror movie.