The Omega Man

Charlton Heston in a film based on the same book as "I Am Legend." Smatterings of "Escape from New York" and the Romero "Dead" series. I hope "Legend" is better than this.

For the Bible Tells Me So

A documentary addressing homophobia in the church, its roots and justifications. I don't know where it comes from, the anger, and the movie doesn't explain it that well. Although I'm not sure anything can. Among others, it features interviews with the parents of Anglican bishop Gene Robinson and the Gephardts, whose daughter is out. While the film's effort is laudable, it's execution is not that great. And towards the end it becomes a blatant pro-Soulforce and anti-Focus on the Family screed, which, even if you agree with, is not that interesting. It's okay to portray Gene Robinson's actions as laudable for furthering gay rights. But to have people call him a "holy man" might go too far.

Archbishop Desmond Tutu has some nice words at the end, though: "I can't for the life of me imagine that God would say, 'I will punish you because you are black. You should have been white. I will punish you because you are a woman; you should have been a man. I punish you because you are homosexual; you ought to have been heterosexual.' I can't -- I can't for the life of me believe that that is how God sees things."

No Country for Old Men

I'm sorry, friendo, but I think less of this movie now than when I first saw it. It's okay, but there's nothing new or risky about it. And I don't buy the argument that the movie is faithful to the book. If that's the case, then there are failings in the book too. The movie seems to be about how little life is worth, but I found it more enjoyable and enriching to watch "The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada," a film about how much life is worth. Take the beginning, when Tommy Lee Jones muses on what it would take to understand a killer: "A man would have to put his soul at hazard. He'd have to say, 'Okay, I'll be part of this world.'" But the existential exploration and moral quandary this promises never comes to fruition. We don't see enough of Jones to see how he has put his soul at hazard.

I still don't like the ending. The sheriff talks to some guy named Ellis who we've never seen before; then we see Chigurh go on, same as ever, although with the parallelism of asking for someone's shirt when he's bloody, like Moss on his way to Mexico; and then Sheriff Ed Tom recollects his dreams of his dad, one about him riding through the pass in the mountains with his dad, his dad rides ahead to light a fire, and he knows "whenever I got there, he'd be there. And then I woke up." If we're not even going to see the climax, we should at least see a decent ending, and we don't.

The Bank Job

A pretty good heist film "based on real events" in which the government wants to recover some sexy-time pictures of Princess Margaret, so members of MI5 convince a drug trafficker to convince her amateur friends to rob the bank so there can be no connection to the British government. There's also a Michael X figure, a criminal posing as a black radical, who is imperfectly tied in to the whole thing and doesn't quite develop beyond a caricature. It's efficient and for the most part uncompromising, and it touches on modern themes like surveillance, suppression of the media, and corrupt politicos.

Dan in Real Life

What's an advice columnist widower (Steve Carell) with three daughters to do? He finds a girl and likes her, but she's dating his brother (Dane Cook). It starts off promising, melancholy and sweet. But when Juliette Binoche enters the picture, it sharply derails. It's not her fault; it's just an unfortuante coincidence. Too bad she enters the movie about ten minutes into it. The acting gets forced, the story gets contrived, the script gets formulaic, the Bourne Critic gets bored.

The Flower of My Secret

A melancholic romance novelist moonlighting anonymously at a newspaper is told to review her own book, at the same time she's trying to move away from the romance genre. Refreshingly, it's more subdued than Almodovar's others in the sexuality department. It also has some characteristic flares of melodrama, like the confrontation between Amanda Gris, as she's known, and her husband, who's home on leave from the war in Bosnia. Almodovar also places it in historical context, showing the student protests about no jobs against Felipe, Prince of Asturias, the first son of King Juan Carlos and Queen Sofia. You don't always remember that other countries still have kings and queens, even if they don't really have any authoritah.

The film has value on its own, it might be most notable for its intriguing connections to the rest of Almodovar's oeuvre. Her agent describes her new novel for the series "True Love": "A novel about a mother who discovers her daughter's killed her father who had tried to rape her. And so that no one finds out hides the body in the cold-storage room of a neighbor's restaurant." We learn later it's called "Cold-Storage Room." "Volver" might be seen as the completion of that task, turning that plot into a quasi-romance appropriate for "True Love." But whereas Penelope Cruz's character does not need men, here the author believes she does. Also, the beginning features a filming of an instructional video, how doctors tell mothers their sons are brain dead and they can use the organs. The woman who plays the actress stars in the later film "All About My Mother" as the mother of a son who dies and who then falls in with some acting types. And Gris's mother is a recurrent actress, playing a senile elderly woman in several films, including "Volver." The house they go to in the village near the end looks like "Volver." So those are the connections I saw.

Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown

I've seen this a couple of times before, and I liked it, though it never stuck with me. But seeing it within the context of the rest of Almodovar's work, I appreciate it more. It's a significant step for the director and shows a definite maturation of his style.

Law of Desire

An Almodovarian snapshot of late-'80s Spain, the heyday of yayo and neon clothes and amorphous sexuality, at least among people in the acting/directing/theater/film world. This is lower-echelon Almodovar, akin to "Bad Habits," though of minor interest for the concepts and themes that he explores later, better. Also, a scene takes place in a restaurant near a lighthouse that looks an awful lot like the restaurant in "Volver." And some scenes show an early but unadvanced appreciation for Hitchcock that would be expanded on in "Bad Education."

Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo

A look at the little seen world of man-whores, he-pimps, he-bitch man-slaps, mark-ass marks, trick-ass marks, punk bitches, skig-skag skanks and scallywags, ho's, heifers, heehaws, and hoolihoos. It also has an early performance by Amy Poehler as a woman with Tourette's ("Ball hair!" "Yeah, we need a strike here."). Although I still find it a somewhat affecting and sweet film with a message of respecting women for who they are, it unfortunately has the comedic staying power of "Stripes."

Idiocracy

An underseen gem that shows Luke Wilson, defying the odds, can actually be a great leading man. Who knew? The premise: In the future, Wilson is the smartest man in the world, proven by his ability to answer this question on an IQ test: "If you have one bucket that holds two gallons and another bucket that holds five gallons, how many buckets do you have?"

Since stupid people breed more often than intelligent people, the world's IQ scores go down. People call each other scrot and 'tarded and say things like, "Go away, 'batin!" Wilson's court-appointed lawyer, Frito Pendejo, responds to Wilson's claim he's not guilty by credulously saying, "That's not what the other lawyer said."

Advertising is more explicit and direct. "If you don't smoke Tarrlytons... F--- you!" Carl's Jr.'s motto is, "F--- you, I'm eating." Fuddruckers changes to Futtbuckers then Buttruckers then to well, you can probably guess. Everybody drinks Brawndo, "the thirst mutilator," simply because "it's got electrolytes," though no one knows what those are. Water was a threat to Brawndo's profit margin, so it bought the FCC and FDA and could say and do anything. People are paid money if they end sentences by saying, "Brought to you by Carl's Jr." They have companies like Jack Inuh Box, Uhmerican Exxxpress, and Starbucks Exotic Coffee For Men, which serves Gentlemen's Lattes. Costco has a law school and a greeter who stares into space and says in monotone, "Welcome to Costco. I love you. Welcome to Costco. I love you."

The America 500 years from now is a scary prospect (though after seeing glimpses of "The Hills" and "Keeping Up With The Kardashians," I think now is pretty scary). "Ow! My Balls!" is the most popular TV show. It's nothing but a man getting hit and kicked and crushed and bit in the balls. It serves as a kind of metacommentary on our society since we find the show funny as well. "Ass" was the number one movie in America. "And that's all it was for 90 minutes." It won eight Oscars, including best screenplay. Readers of this blog can probably guess that I don't think movies are much better than this now.

Goya's Ghosts

Wigs and accents. "Goya's Ghosts" is like an ersatz "Girl with a Pearl Earring," a film about a painter and his paintings. Except this movie isn't about Goya as much as it is about Father Lorenzo (Javier Bardem), who had a thing for the girl who was the inspiration for some of Goya's paintings. And in Spain in 1792, with the Inquisition and all, you can except things were not pretty, especially if you were suspected of being a Judaizer.

There are signs the filmmaker tried to tie the subject matter into modern times, to make it relevant. For instance, there's talk of confessions obtained by torture -- after someone has been put to "The Question" -- and how reliable they are. Hmm, are we making a statement about US policy during the War on Terror? But I don't think that during the Inquisition, regular people would be ready to grill a Father about the Church practices and criticize it. In another part echoing recent events, when the French Revolution spreads to Spain, the invading army thinks they'll be greeted with flowers and kisses because the people hate their royal family, since it comprises a king who's the cousin of the recently decapitated French king and a queen who is Italian. So the people will greet their liberators with open arms. Not so much.

But for being about Goya, the film never shows what made him such a rara avis. The Church did not like his paintings, but that could have been explored more. The only biographical detail you learn about him was that he was deaf when he aged. If you want to learn about Goya, you have to wait until they make a film based on Robert Hughes's biography.

Chopper

Consider this an Australian "El Mariachi," a decently made (considering the low budget) story of an Australian standover man of some repute. It shows no signs that the director would go on to make the much more impressive "The Assassination of Jesse James," but it does show how good an actor Eric Bana is.

Black Book

When I first saw "Black Book," I thought it was ho-hum. Upon seeing it again, I have a higher opinion of it, placing it closer to director Paul Verhoeven's "Basic Instinct" than "Starship Troopers." It's the story of Rachel, a survivor, a Jewish woman in the Netherlands who is forced into myriad ethically complex situations during World War II. With the Germans occupying the country, it's a world of double crosses, where everyone is hedging their bets based on which side will prevail, where the ideological differences that cause the war have little bearing on where one places one's loyalties. It's a glimpse of how the war played out away from the battlefield, not too common in the generally tired genre of combat-laden WWII films. The most memorable scene remains how Rachel, in order to disguise herself, dyes her hair. Um, all of it.

The film has several unique elements that I didn't appreciate the first time. For one, it looks at the role of Queen Wilhelmina of the Netherlands as a rallying cry for the Resistance. And in showing a glimpse of how society is upended in wartime, we see the workings of the underground economy: the German officers show all the things they "inherit" -- the room from "the capitalists we kicked out," chocolate, the diamonds in the safe (presumably confiscated); and the Resistance lives in a world of paying for safe crossing ands working in certain factories. In such a situation, it's hard for anyone to maintain her probity and uprightness. The film also tries to connect to modern events. At a Nazi party, an officer for the invading German army says something to the local sympathizers like, "Your fight against the terrorists is our fight." Fighting for a free Europe sounds like what US soldiers and politicians might say to Iraqis.

Perhaps the most uncomfortable part of the film is the way it subverts what he think of the aftermath of the war. We see how suspected sympathizers were treated after the war, and it's morally repugnant; this is paired with showing how the resistance was not uniformly a group of ethically sound heroes, since some were morally compromised as well. This subversion of expectations is what makes the ending disturbing. Years later in Israel, Rachel goes back to her kibbutz with her family, peacefully, only to have the camera pan out to see it fenced off with Israeli soldiers manning the towers as bombs go off and children run for cover in the background and aircraft fly overhead. After seeing a film where both sympathizers and the resistance had skeletons in the closet, it's unclear what point Verhoeven is making about the modern state of Israel. All we know is that for Rachel and the others in Israel, the war is not over.

Matador

The cast includes a young Antonio Banderas, who is fascinated by death and has major Catholic guilt issues because of his madre, causing him to confess to things he didn't do; a bullfighting teacher who gets off (literally) on violence; and Banderas's abogado, who has Xenia Onatopp's proclivity for climaxing while killing someone. Yes, it's a Pedro Almodovar film.

This 1986, NC-17 effort shows early stages of Almodovar's signature style, such as the strikingly colorful sets and outfits, the character-driven plots, and the almost disturbingly dismissive, comic treatment of violence against women, also seen later in "Tie me up! Tie me down!" And with its link of sex and death, it prefigures such later classics as "Kissed," a grossly underseen indy film with a truly unforgettable ending.

Beowulf

Imagine watching a semi-interesting cut scene from a video game that is usually too long at 2 minutes. Now imagine it's 2 hours long. That's what it's like to slog through this haphazard animated adaptation. Aside from some truly inspired action sequences, the film has a lackluster feel and makes one wonder why everything was animated. Many parts would have been better served by showing the actual actors.

The Danes of 507 AD were saucy brutes, and their English was quite good. They say things like, "Bring me my mead." Because "mead" is an older way of saying "alcohol," you know that this took place awhile ago. Just in case the title card that said "507 AD" didn't fill you in. They also swear by saying, "Odin's swifin balls," not too unlike Ron Burgundy saying, "Great Odin's raven!" My problem is, having them use Shakespeare-era English terms and phrases makes as much sense as them using modern slang, so they may as well just be speaking Old English.

The Danes have by this time heard of the new Roman God, Christ Jesus. But the king says they cannot rely on him, they need a hero. Like Beowulf the Geat, one of the Germanic people who lived in Sweden at this time. The at-times nude warrior announces himself, "I am Beowulf. I am here to kill your monster." There's probably a good drinking game in taking a shot every time he says, "I am Beowulf." You'd probably down a fifth after the first hour.

Beowulf "I am Beowulf" the Geat lives a full life. He fights Grendel, an overgrown demon that looks like a bloody fetus; he sleeps with Grendel's mom (Angelina Jolie), a naked water serpent that wears high heels; and he then fights a dragon, which turns out to be (spoiler alert) his son. Not bad for a Geat, but the movie could have been better.

Rendition

"Extraordinary rendition" refers to the process by which the United States kidnaps innocent people and ships them to foreign countries, where despotic government officials torture them for information they don't have, and then the people are released--if they live--and sue the United States, and courts dismiss the suits because it would reveal "state secrets," even though everybody knows about it and they even make movies about it.

"Rendition" is a movie about this process that takes a long time going nowhere. It's not great. But it does highlight one of the tragedies of 9/11, that now several great actors of Arab or Indian descent are forced to play one of two roles: a terrorist, or someone who fights terrorists. In this film, one such actor is forced to say, "We have a saying. 'Beat your woman every morning. If you don't know why, she does.'" It's hard to imagine a filmmaker allowing that to be said by someone of any other ethnicity in movies today.

The Darjeeling Limited

All aboard for another pretentious outing on the Wes Anderson Express. Three brothers travel India on the Darjeeling Limited, the most colorful train in the world. One of the problems is the casting; maybe it's supposed to be a joke. The three brothers are played by Owen Wilson, Jason Schwartzman, and Adrien Brody. I challenge you to imagine three white people who could look less related to each other. If he had stopped after "Rushmore," Anderson would be remembered as "that guy who made one of the best movies ever." But given his current career trajectory, he'll be remembered as a shining star that burned out early. He tries too hard. His movies used to be quirky and sweet and endearing and brilliant and funny. Now they're just quirky.

The Namesake

Definitive proof that releasing a movie before October forecloses you from serious Oscar consideration. That the parents -- Irfan Khan and Tabu -- got no recognition is inexcusable. That I keep mentioning the Oscars is also inexcusable. I'm done. For a year. I promise.

80th Annual Academy Awards

If you accept the premise that these were the five best films of the year, "No Country for Old Men" is probably a good choice for Best Picture. But there's no reason you should believe these were the cream of the crop. To put this matter to bed quickly, only to be resurrected pointlessly next year when the Oscars get it all wrong again, here's a list of a few films better than "No Country for Old Men," in no particular order:
"The Bourne Ultimatum," "4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days," "The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters," "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford," "Sicko," and "The Devil Came on Horseback." Maybe "The Namesake." Three of those are documentaries, but they're still better. I was also curiously drawn to "Vacancy" and "Grindhouse," especially the first half, but I would concede "No Country" might be better than these two.

The list of films that are better than "There Will Be Blood" is comparable, the list of films better than "Michael Clayton" is a tad longer, and the list that would accompany both "Atonement" and "Juno" is too long to be readable in a blog post.

Infection

Ghostly goings-on at a Japanese hospital. Typical low-budget horror. Nothing here, move along.