Machete

I took a break, yada yada yada, and now I’m back. Leaner and meaner, starker and darker. Shorter.

Probably shorter. Sometimes I can’t help it. What can I say? I was bourne this way.

But let's get down to it. They’ve made movies based on theme park rides (“Pirates of the Caribbean”), toys (“Transformers”), and things no one cares about (“The King’s Speech”). Why not a movie based on a fake trailer from another movie? Enter “Machete,” a ridiculous action romp of increasingly diminishing returns. While it has the consistent undercurrent of being an anti-anti-immigration story, Robert Rodirguez doesn’t let that detract from the gallons of gore and scenes of people jumping out of a window while holding another man’s intestines and using it (them?) as a rope. The film also features Lindsay Lohan, who is believable as a young woman with significant father issues who doesn’t mind taking off her clothes and mixing it up.

Enjoyable, but I didn’t appreciate it as much as some of Rodgiruez’s other work.

Onward!