Cyborg

I think movies are too long, so it's admirable when a film is less than 90 minutes. But still, whenever one is, you have to wonder, is it because the movie is completely terrible? In the case of last year's "Vacancy," the answer is no. In the case of "Cyborg," the answer is a firm yes. The title card says this sci-fi film takes place in New York City "in the future." And this is after the narrator has already told you the film takes place in the future. Something that stupid tells you you're entering "Battlefield Earth" territory. The most interesting part of the film was this same opening narration, which inspired some lines from Method Man's "Tical 2000: Judgement Day."

I don't believe everything I read on Wikipedia, but some things I'd like to believe are true. For instance, according to Wikipedia (as of 7:17 a.m. June 23, 2008), the studio had costumes and props left over from the sequel to "Masters of the Universe," which fell through, and they needed to use them to make some money, so someone wrote this movie. I think they also had a leftover synthesizer soundtrack. If you watch this movie -- and there's no reason you should -- you'll believe this Wikipedia story too.