Double Impact

Van Damme is long lost brothers, Chad and Alex, separated at birth, who both grow up to be karate masters. One of them looks like Jimmy Fallon as the undercover Cuban in "Taxi." But of course, if you cast the Muscles from Brussels as both brothers, of course they have to be karate masters. And we know they're identical because they both have the same odd bump on the forehead that he had in "Lionheart," and they both have an inexplicable accent.

The ending takes place in a location that reminds me of the unjustifiably unknown Eddie Griffin action film, "Blast," which has the best pre-fight one-liner in recent memory: "It's George Bush time." To which (to make it the best pre-fight two-liner in recent memory) his Noah Wyle look-alike sidekick (the stoner from "Clueless") says something like, "You mean it's just us?" The ending also has a flexarific fight between Van Damme and the pectoral madness that is Bolo Yueng.

The most notable part of the film is a dark-blue-hued fight scene between Van Damme and a guy with spurs. The fighters dance in and out of the shadows, and it looks like a surreal Grace Jones video. It borders on the artistic. But you know what's not artistic? Ending an early '90s film with the camera freezing on the hero giving the ok sign with his fingers.